LH's Blog

I was talking with a friend this weekend and the thought lite went off. We were both venting about our jobs and how nice the weekend is until Sunday when the dread of Monday sets in. WTF? From Eat Pray Love , “I built this life and was involved in it” but how has it became this drone existence. Every song on radio praises the weekend and despises the work week and SO DO WE ALL!!!! How sad this is that we live for 100 days out of 365 in our year around the sun. This has been on my mind for a while and everyone I speak to seems to have the same story. We work and live for the weekend but what kind of living is that? I know better than most that work is a four letter word which I must do but I want it to be a happy part of my life not merely a necessity. I chose this career over one I love for money and it is taking its toll. I have molded myself into a corporate drone who sits in traffic, gets the Monday blues on Sunday and has little life during the week. Yes, I am not living; I am s

Since I was born I was taught (and sometimes forced) to speak in front of people. Thank you for that mom and dad! In my early days I thought that using the biggest longest most complex words made me seem smart.  Sadly I failed all too often at using my big words correctly. As I grew up and learned more I realized that we (and I mean all of us) cater our dialog to our audience. I speak completely different when I am in a country setting than I do when I am presenting in a corporate setting. For the longest time I thought of this as fake or hiding but it is truly just me being me. You calling BS yet? Thinks about it, do you curse smoke and drink in front of everyone? No, why? Any number of reasons comes to mind but respect is at the top of my list. So how do big words and respect tie together? We base our entirety of life on experiences we have seen lived or painted for ourselves. In all of those the simplest words are the most sincere.  Yet most simple words bare volumes to explain an

As I watched some mindless tv (The Thirteenth Warrior) the other day I saw a scene that made me cry. This is not a sign of the coming apocalypse nor are the gods plotting my demise. I do cry but only in certain places and certain company. The wheels began to spin and it truly sank in. I have been close to the darkness and in defiance of it all I spit in deaths face and screamed out loud but shed no tears. In the service of others I have spilt blood, gave blood and tried to stem the flow of it without shedding a single tear. Yet some scene in a movie makes me cry, WTF? Forget all the macho bravado and know: we all cry. To many times we feminize it or class it as weak yet nothing is further from the truth. Still I do not cry (nor do I feel like I am going to) in many places and times. Hummm? Then the comfort safety and solitude of my world gleamed in like the waking sun. We all have been hurt but with every ounce of our very being we refuse to cry in front of the offender. Then when we a

I pray you fly but never fall May you want but never need Learn to live with all you have Find hope in your weakness See success in your failures Live as if there is no tomorrow Love without fear of being hurt Dance and sing from your heart Believe and trust in yourself Cherish time and enjoy the ride

I saw a poster the other day and it said we close our eyes to kiss, cry and dream. Unfortunately it did not sink in until I get frustrated, took a breath and closed my eyes. The wheels began to spin and I began to look back at some of the times in my life which truly molded me. From anger to yearning all of these (good or bad) held one simple tick: I closed my eyes. From birth we are taught to close your eyes and magic happens. Fast forward to puberty and we (thanks to Hollywood and sappy love stories) hold our breath, close our eyes and hope our kiss is requited. Then I began to remember the bad, the conflicts the anger and those times in which the monster looked back at me; and there is it. No matter how bad there always seemed to be that split second of clarity gleaned from my eyes being closed. Then we come to the core of ourselves, the inner spiritual realm that grounds use. No matter what we believe, feel or think we all close our eyes and ask for help. Now I am at a purely exist

Several conversations held over the last week led me to this entry. Relationships, life, friends, work and life in general revolve around our evaluation of choices versus consequences yet we fail miserably at being honest with ourselves.  Few know this horrible truth as well as I do but we sometimes cannot get past it. Why is it we can lay down our life for others but we do little to keep ourselves happy let alone make choices to make ourselves happy. It hit me when the call came and the voice on the other end was near complete and utter demise over a choice which to me was crystal clear. Without being the “I told you so” person I listened and allowed them to talk themselves into it. Very often we just need to “hear it come out of our own mouth” to truly grasp the reality of what lies ahead. Once the journey moved off the brink of oblivion to a “comfortable numbness of reality” the question I feared most was asked: “Why didn’t you tell me?” Five simple words that burn like fire and hit