I guess Lee Ann Womack nailed it when she belted that song
out. How many times have we been there? We say we are not going to fall for
someone and then out of the blue, one little smile and its all out the window.
Before we know what has happened we are picking ourselves up off the floor in
pieces. More times that I would like to say, I have been hurt by caring too
much. Even more times than that I have
sworn that I would not care and I would be ok with this one. Yet I continue to
get hurt and am a friend to many who do the same thing. Is it so bad? I would
rather go through life with pain than to live with nothing. Pain reminds me I
am alive and that I still care. It is a burden to bare a life lived without emotions.
We are creatures of love and compassion. We live our lives trying to be a part
of something and more of that time is spent trying to care. We gauge ourselves
and others on how they care. We almost set ourselves up to cause and feel pain.
Many even try to end things so they are the “hurt” ones just to look better in others
eyes. It’s pretty simple for me: I live, I love and I get hurt! I have even
told a few that I “was at their mercy” and knew that I would be hurt. Scars are
just tattoos with cooler stories. So as we travel down life’s road and get hurt:
ask yourself did I cause it? Did I give it my all? Can I live with how I behaved?
For you are the one who must live with your choices. It must be a sad lonely existence
to never know the sting of loves touch. I welcome the pain for the thought of
loving someone will always far out way the pain of it not working!
Several conversations held over the last week led me to this entry. Relationships, life, friends, work and life in general revolve around our evaluation of choices versus consequences yet we fail miserably at being honest with ourselves. Few know this horrible truth as well as I do but we sometimes cannot get past it. Why is it we can lay down our life for others but we do little to keep ourselves happy let alone make choices to make ourselves happy. It hit me when the call came and the voice on the other end was near complete and utter demise over a choice which to me was crystal clear. Without being the “I told you so” person I listened and allowed them to talk themselves into it. Very often we just need to “hear it come out of our own mouth” to truly grasp the reality of what lies ahead. Once the journey moved off the brink of oblivion to a “comfortable numbness of reality” the question I feared most was asked: “Why didn’t you tell me?” Five simple words that burn like fire and...
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