NO FEAR my ass, I am scared to death! For me I find this statement concerning. I have spent a large portion of my life in the service of others. Be it as a soldier, a security professional or a pseudo parent protection has been my life for longer than I care to remember. During my rough and tumble life I have been on both side of the coin, I have done good things for/too bad people and bad things for/too good people with ramifications that left scars all over my life. During my career I have seen great people and had the pleasure to speak candidly about some of the work they did. Across the board from all I spoken to, they all point to the standard definition of hero “one who does the job even though fear is paramount”. It is amazing that most never consider themselves hero’s just people doing the job as needed. In that I see and feel the same driving force: fear (like pain) reminds me I am alive and guides me. Fear makes me think, rethink, prepare, pack, unpack and repack. I vividly remember jumping out of perfectly good air planes (and yes I never got the happy part of sky diving); it scared the hell outta me! But my fear ensured that I did all I could to make my jumps as safe as possible. I am not afraid of fear nor does it paralyze me, we coexist in the same plane with a healthy appreciation for each other. Never be afraid to say you are scared! Just as I have never met an atheist in a fire fight, everybody I have ever met gets scared. Take fear for what it is: a reminder to think about something and that’s it! Let fear guide you not control you, for things out of your control ask for help! Be honest and evaluate the situation when fear speaks to you and know your limitations!!!!
Several conversations held over the last week led me to this entry. Relationships, life, friends, work and life in general revolve around our evaluation of choices versus consequences yet we fail miserably at being honest with ourselves. Few know this horrible truth as well as I do but we sometimes cannot get past it. Why is it we can lay down our life for others but we do little to keep ourselves happy let alone make choices to make ourselves happy. It hit me when the call came and the voice on the other end was near complete and utter demise over a choice which to me was crystal clear. Without being the “I told you so” person I listened and allowed them to talk themselves into it. Very often we just need to “hear it come out of our own mouth” to truly grasp the reality of what lies ahead. Once the journey moved off the brink of oblivion to a “comfortable numbness of reality” the question I feared most was asked: “Why didn’t you tell me?” Five simple words that burn like fire and...
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