Skip to main content

The One You Hold

Funny how life can trigger a memory by a mere smell, glance or song and today it did again. As I listened to Alabama sing “Feels so right” I was transported back to 4H Congress dance from my formidable years. Since I was able to walk my parents made me speak in public (and thank you for it) especially in 4H and FFA affiliated activities. Well little did I know how far or what a benefit that would be. As I spoke at the NC state level 4H competition for several years I began to make friends and have my little crew with me. We did it all together and were inseparable but being pre internet and Facebook we did little in talking over the year so we made up for it when we could. Being a teenager at a large competition of other teenagers was daunting but crazy rewarding. We had the run of NC State University in the summer and we demonstrated our zest for life in all we did. I vividly remember a girl name Helena from 4H camp. She was everything beautiful and different (thanks Keith Urban “Stupid Boy”) and I was smitten from the second I saw here. Being a poor dirt farmers child I could not compete with the rich yuppies and all they brought to the table but MAN I TRIED! And that led to one of my most memorable and valuable lessons of my life. At my last year of 4H Congress on the last night we had a dance at the McKinnon Center. Low and behold Helena was there. In my arrogance and impudence I vowed to muster every bit of courage and ask her to dance. Now life steps in, in a fire show that would rival our barrage of Shock and Awe on Baghdad my advances were unrequited to say the least. Well not missing a beat and not to show my crew my loss I laughed it off and we went on. My crew was a mix of all the misfits, uncool kids and outcasts yet there was one that really did not fit in. She was tall, pretty,  smart and for some reason hung with us for years. In a futile attempt to show Helena I was better than her I ask our friend to dance to Alabama’s “Feel so right”. Well my dumb ass completely missed all the signals!!! The next day on the way home I had a full dose of reality as I reflected on the entirety and finality of my 4H life. Then the light went off and time stopped as the slide show of every second of our pretty friends interaction with me played in my head. WOW!!!! From that second forth I vowed to step back and see things as they are and never over look the small things. I can’t do things over but I hope I can live in the moment better! Take a second and look to see if you are missing something by not seeing it!!!!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Close Your Eyes and See

I saw a poster the other day and it said we close our eyes to kiss, cry and dream. Unfortunately it did not sink in until I get frustrated, took a breath and closed my eyes. The wheels began to spin and I began to look back at some of the times in my life which truly molded me. From anger to yearning all of these (good or bad) held one simple tick: I closed my eyes. From birth we are taught to close your eyes and magic happens. Fast forward to puberty and we (thanks to Hollywood and sappy love stories) hold our breath, close our eyes and hope our kiss is requited. Then I began to remember the bad, the conflicts the anger and those times in which the monster looked back at me; and there is it. No matter how bad there always seemed to be that split second of clarity gleaned from my eyes being closed. Then we come to the core of ourselves, the inner spiritual realm that grounds use. No matter what we believe, feel or think we all close our eyes and ask for help. Now I am at a purely exist...
Post a Comment
Read more

Stop running and do it

Several conversations held over the last week led me to this entry. Relationships, life, friends, work and life in general revolve around our evaluation of choices versus consequences yet we fail miserably at being honest with ourselves.  Few know this horrible truth as well as I do but we sometimes cannot get past it. Why is it we can lay down our life for others but we do little to keep ourselves happy let alone make choices to make ourselves happy. It hit me when the call came and the voice on the other end was near complete and utter demise over a choice which to me was crystal clear. Without being the “I told you so” person I listened and allowed them to talk themselves into it. Very often we just need to “hear it come out of our own mouth” to truly grasp the reality of what lies ahead. Once the journey moved off the brink of oblivion to a “comfortable numbness of reality” the question I feared most was asked: “Why didn’t you tell me?” Five simple words that burn like fire and...
Post a Comment
Read more

TAD Directive

As I drove to work this morning and was pondering my next tattoo (which will be homage to the children in my life) a statement stuck in my mind. I want the tattoo to represent what they mean to me and how I want them to grow to be. Then I remembered the TAD directive. Devised years ago to guide me as I did work for Uncle Sam, it’s a trivial acronym that has burned its way into my being. Of all the random stuff I have carried for my life this one has taught and kept me on my path. TAD stands for Think Act Deal. Three simple words but oh do they mean so much more. THINK as this skill is disappearing in today’s age it is critical that you NEVER forget it. Even in that life changing, time stops and the Zen like calm of a life stops everything there is time to THINK. Give it a second and think and I mean really think about it. What will this cost? Where will it take me? Can I live with my choice? Seems like a child’s nursery rhyme but so often we forget that a moment of thought could p...
Post a Comment
Read more