LH's Blog

As always Mei Wei continues to amaze and surprise. One of the true restaurant finds of my time in Raleigh. A small family owned establishment that creates some truly superb dishes. Egg drop wonton soup and red curry fit the bill for today!!!

I was talking with a friend this weekend and the thought lite went off. We were both venting about our jobs and how nice the weekend is until Sunday when the dread of Monday sets in. WTF? From Eat Pray Love , “I built this life and was involved in it” but how has it became this drone existence. Every song on radio praises the weekend and despises the work week and SO DO WE ALL!!!! How sad this is that we live for 100 days out of 365 in our year around the sun. This has been on my mind for a while and everyone I speak to seems to have the same story. We work and live for the weekend but what kind of living is that? I know better than most that work is a four letter word which I must do but I want it to be a happy part of my life not merely a necessity. I chose this career over one I love for money and it is taking its toll. I have molded myself into a corporate drone who sits in traffic, gets the Monday blues on Sunday and has little life during the week. Yes, I am not living; I am s...

Since I was born I was taught (and sometimes forced) to speak in front of people. Thank you for that mom and dad! In my early days I thought that using the biggest longest most complex words made me seem smart.  Sadly I failed all too often at using my big words correctly. As I grew up and learned more I realized that we (and I mean all of us) cater our dialog to our audience. I speak completely different when I am in a country setting than I do when I am presenting in a corporate setting. For the longest time I thought of this as fake or hiding but it is truly just me being me. You calling BS yet? Thinks about it, do you curse smoke and drink in front of everyone? No, why? Any number of reasons comes to mind but respect is at the top of my list. So how do big words and respect tie together? We base our entirety of life on experiences we have seen lived or painted for ourselves. In all of those the simplest words are the most sincere.  Yet most simple words bare volumes to e...

As I watched some mindless tv (The Thirteenth Warrior) the other day I saw a scene that made me cry. This is not a sign of the coming apocalypse nor are the gods plotting my demise. I do cry but only in certain places and certain company. The wheels began to spin and it truly sank in. I have been close to the darkness and in defiance of it all I spit in deaths face and screamed out loud but shed no tears. In the service of others I have spilt blood, gave blood and tried to stem the flow of it without shedding a single tear. Yet some scene in a movie makes me cry, WTF? Forget all the macho bravado and know: we all cry. To many times we feminize it or class it as weak yet nothing is further from the truth. Still I do not cry (nor do I feel like I am going to) in many places and times. Hummm? Then the comfort safety and solitude of my world gleamed in like the waking sun. We all have been hurt but with every ounce of our very being we refuse to cry in front of the offender. Then when we a...

I pray you fly but never fall May you want but never need Learn to live with all you have Find hope in your weakness See success in your failures Live as if there is no tomorrow Love without fear of being hurt Dance and sing from your heart Believe and trust in yourself Cherish time and enjoy the ride

I saw a poster the other day and it said we close our eyes to kiss, cry and dream. Unfortunately it did not sink in until I get frustrated, took a breath and closed my eyes. The wheels began to spin and I began to look back at some of the times in my life which truly molded me. From anger to yearning all of these (good or bad) held one simple tick: I closed my eyes. From birth we are taught to close your eyes and magic happens. Fast forward to puberty and we (thanks to Hollywood and sappy love stories) hold our breath, close our eyes and hope our kiss is requited. Then I began to remember the bad, the conflicts the anger and those times in which the monster looked back at me; and there is it. No matter how bad there always seemed to be that split second of clarity gleaned from my eyes being closed. Then we come to the core of ourselves, the inner spiritual realm that grounds use. No matter what we believe, feel or think we all close our eyes and ask for help. Now I am at a purely exist...

Several conversations held over the last week led me to this entry. Relationships, life, friends, work and life in general revolve around our evaluation of choices versus consequences yet we fail miserably at being honest with ourselves.  Few know this horrible truth as well as I do but we sometimes cannot get past it. Why is it we can lay down our life for others but we do little to keep ourselves happy let alone make choices to make ourselves happy. It hit me when the call came and the voice on the other end was near complete and utter demise over a choice which to me was crystal clear. Without being the “I told you so” person I listened and allowed them to talk themselves into it. Very often we just need to “hear it come out of our own mouth” to truly grasp the reality of what lies ahead. Once the journey moved off the brink of oblivion to a “comfortable numbness of reality” the question I feared most was asked: “Why didn’t you tell me?” Five simple words that burn like fire and...

You amaze me! I look at you and it makes me want to be a better person. To many times I see this but forget, get to busy or am embarrassed to tell you. To many times in life we don’t see what others see in us. We can never truly be all that people see us as (or we’d all be super heroes) and therefore we don’t see it. But know you inspire and amaze me! I have built my life on my word and my deeds but you only make we want to do more. As I sat in four funerals last year, I was dumbfounded by one thought: did I tell them what they meant? Sadly I hung my head in shame. To many times we stand at the end and speak of a life but they did not know it and they dang sure ain’t hearing it at that point. Even as you read this you have no idea what you did, said or caused me to write this. This is not a futile attempt to announce some disease that is taking my life, I want you know what you mean to me without a cause. In your eyes I see hope and that helps we keep my faith. With your laughter I hea...

NO FEAR my ass, I am scared to death! For me I find this statement concerning. I have spent a large portion of my life in the service of others. Be it as a soldier, a security professional or a pseudo parent protection has been my life for longer than I care to remember. During my rough and tumble life I have been on both side of the coin, I have done good things for/too bad people and bad things for/too good people with ramifications that left scars all over my life. During my career I have seen great people and had the pleasure to speak candidly about some of the work they did. Across the board from all I spoken to, they all point to the standard definition of hero “one who does the job even though fear is paramount”. It is amazing that most never consider themselves hero’s just people doing the job as needed. In that I see and feel the same driving force: fear (like pain) reminds me I am alive and guides me. Fear makes me think, rethink, prepare, pack, unpack and repack. I vividly r...

Funny how life can trigger a memory by a mere smell, glance or song and today it did again. As I listened to Alabama sing “Feels so right” I was transported back to 4H Congress dance from my formidable years. Since I was able to walk my parents made me speak in public (and thank you for it) especially in 4H and FFA affiliated activities. Well little did I know how far or what a benefit that would be. As I spoke at the NC state level 4H competition for several years I began to make friends and have my little crew with me. We did it all together and were inseparable but being pre internet and Facebook we did little in talking over the year so we made up for it when we could. Being a teenager at a large competition of other teenagers was daunting but crazy rewarding. We had the run of NC State University in the summer and we demonstrated our zest for life in all we did. I vividly remember a girl name Helena from 4H camp. She was everything beautiful and different (thanks Keith Urban “Stup...

Life is such a beautiful gift which we often squander. Possessions, fame, notoriety and simple vain drama leads us to merely travel through life. As I stated on Facebook the other day, I fought to get into this world and my life is a constant struggle, yet I cherish every second of it. Several times I have looked into the darkness and had it look back only to awake me from my momentary lapse of reason and fight for my life. Never do we fight as hard as we do when life is involved. Be it ours, a loved one or in the line of duty we fight for life. Yet so many of us do not own the life we are given. As Americans we believe in a rich life filled with stuff and status points, sadly though many of us are not living. Life is for the living and not those merely burdened by the “status possession monster”. Sound like a load of crap? Do yourself a favor and ask yourself some questions. As you sit alone and honest with yourself be truthful and ask if you are living or surviving. I often am survi...

As I drove to work this morning and was pondering my next tattoo (which will be homage to the children in my life) a statement stuck in my mind. I want the tattoo to represent what they mean to me and how I want them to grow to be. Then I remembered the TAD directive. Devised years ago to guide me as I did work for Uncle Sam, it’s a trivial acronym that has burned its way into my being. Of all the random stuff I have carried for my life this one has taught and kept me on my path. TAD stands for Think Act Deal. Three simple words but oh do they mean so much more. THINK as this skill is disappearing in today’s age it is critical that you NEVER forget it. Even in that life changing, time stops and the Zen like calm of a life stops everything there is time to THINK. Give it a second and think and I mean really think about it. What will this cost? Where will it take me? Can I live with my choice? Seems like a child’s nursery rhyme but so often we forget that a moment of thought could p...

I saw a commercial that caught my eye and I have issues with it. The premise was “the beauty of tomorrow”. Interesting and valid but I live a little different.  From the bible, karma and every other religion based belief there is no promise of a tomorrow. I do love to plan, make list and accomplish my task but tomorrow is merely a hope of things to come. With that I live like today is my last day. My friends and family give the strength to be a better person and my past leads me to make better choices but I still gotta be me and LIVE. I cannot sit around and hope and wish my life away, I am too busy living it. No matter what it is or how trivial it may be I do it today! Why? Cause yes tomorrow is not promised and it could wait but it makes me feel stronger to do it today. I go places and do things I may not do but that is the beauty of doing it. It is not always about you sometimes it is about the journey and taking that step to do it. Try it and today do something you may think “...

The other day a friend asked me “do you just sit around and think I’m gonna do that today?” and I had without hesitation I went into a long explanation of how I must know how everything works. As I left the question stuck with me and I began to take a hard look at my life. Since I was able to walk I had a burning desire to know how stuff works. As my father bought a set of encyclopedia I fell in love with them. If I had a question or thought off the encyclopedia I went to figure it out. Never have I been one to leave stuff alone let alone not know how to fix it, make it or understand the mechanics behind it.  Often times I find myself way to deep in something before reality hits and I have to back off. I am fortunate to be surrounded by people who support and cherish my passions. The down fall is that I only buy the best and must have enough to furnish a small army. This drive has led me to creating this and my website. I know it, learn it, master it and will pass it on here!

In an ever changing corporate world it is painfully evident how we no longer value people. Being a professional I have been fortunate to have survived many situations that test all my abilities. My belligerence and demeanor serve as an open objection to process or procedure yet it is often mistaken as hostility. But with all my experience and knowledge my opinion is not valued or heard for that matter. From my time with Uncle Sam I learned that leaders ask their followers to attempt task that may fail and without thought volunteers gladly stepped forth. When soldiers volunteer to die: belief, trust, honor and faith come to mind. As I type this on my role as a drone of corporate America who has mangers and not leaders I am appalled by the black cold entity that work has became. No longer are workers valued, we are merely expendable cogs in a devolving monster we call “progress”. Sadly I see no end in this nor do I see a solution to offer. I postulate that leaders (as few as they are) w...

In a conversation the other night I recanted my limited knowledge on dealing with “your equal”. Some love to view people as equals and place them high upon that pedestal but do they truly belong there? Equals is a term that may need to be better defined. As we take a hard look at ourselves in all our glory and flaws what do you see? Many see what they want, a few see what they hope to be and even less see that part of ourselves that others love. So now that we sized our self up and accepted it, what do we do with it? Many relationships are built on some form of dependence. I can honestly say that I am grown and don’t need a mother, cook, maid or some spineless rug for me to walk all over.  As I say all too often, that is not the skill set you are “applying for”.  In all this voyage of life sometimes we meet “ourselves in others” and then it gets interesting. Finally a true equal who is worth the title but yet we are at a loss of how to deal with this person. To many times it...

Funny how life gets so busy that we forget the little things. Recently I had an anniversary that I totally forgot. This is not the usual anniversary where I need to apologize to a woman or look for a new one. Drinking for me is an issue. I cannot take just one drink and I have no control for like most things, I only know two speeds: WFO (wide freaking open) or OFF. For years I drank and did things that were to some bad. That life style came to an abrupt halt and I was forced to make a simple choice. I had no question and made it completely. Now my friends have a driver and I am in a better place. For my anniversary, congratulations on a life choice that is better for you!

After I notched another trade show under my belt, I reflected on the show and what I like about the fishing industry. As I chatted with one of the show company employee she relayed that she had never been fishing or hunting. I felt sorry for she has not seen the world wake up or the struggle for life in a secluded back water creek. Then the reflection turned to why I wanted her to see these things. Life is a struggle and to view it is not to live it. We as outdoorsman see the world in its most primal state and yet we find beauty in the fight for life. Every aspect of our fishing and hunting sport takes advantage of the basic survival instinct. Are morbid spectators or “top of the food chain”? Everyone has a different answer to that question. For me I can only say that I am a part of the dance, I in no way live in the disillusion that I am top of the feed chain.   Even in all its savage glory the circle of life is a beautiful dance in and of itself. This is the part of the fishing...

I guess Lee Ann Womack nailed it when she belted that song out. How many times have we been there? We say we are not going to fall for someone and then out of the blue, one little smile and its all out the window. Before we know what has happened we are picking ourselves up off the floor in pieces. More times that I would like to say, I have been hurt by caring too much.   Even more times than that I have sworn that I would not care and I would be ok with this one. Yet I continue to get hurt and am a friend to many who do the same thing. Is it so bad? I would rather go through life with pain than to live with nothing. Pain reminds me I am alive and that I still care. It is a burden to bare a life lived without emotions. We are creatures of love and compassion. We live our lives trying to be a part of something and more of that time is spent trying to care. We gauge ourselves and others on how they care. We almost set ourselves up to cause and feel pain. Many even try to end thing...

OMG!!!!! This weather is great. It has been warm this summer and I do luv the heat but man it was hard to get outta bed this morning. It was 60ish in the house heave blanket on the bed and I really had to drag my butt out of the bed. Is is the fact that we are comfortable (cause it sux to try n sleep in the heat)? Or just the fall/winter season taking its toll? Either way it is so nice to be snuggly and warm in bed with no real place to be. Now if only I could get a job that would let me sleep all day. Maybe Sleep Number needs a field tester. Soon I will be off to sleep n a cold room with a heavy layer of blankets!!!!!! Rock on cold, bring it!!!!